Advertising: A more forward way of aggressive neutrality

Are you a lone Russian, a single American?
Do you find yourself unable to contact your allies?
Don’t want to deal with those pesky sock puppets and their grating grammar issues?
What you need is someone with a known identity.
Someone you can trust.
Someone who has nothing to gain by killing you off.
Someone who will not leak your identity to the enemy.

What you need is a Stageninja.
Unlike those faceless sockpuppets, Stageninja is a brand you can rely on.
A long time poster with good grammar; she can use semi-colons.

With Stageninja, your name will only be divulged to known allies of your side.

The Stageninja requires a strict screening process of a given narrative name and correlating narrative action to confirm your identity. State who you are and what your intentions are in the next phase, and watch as it springs into action, poised to connect you to your teammates.

It’s a dangerous world out there with manipulative VC, scheming religious zealots, and mysterious Middle Easterners with an unknown agenda.

Shouldn’t you be using a Stageninja?

Disclaimer: Stageninjas are not responsible for the actions of other factions as she is not their leader and does not order their hits.

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I'm thinking about going this route, unless anyone has a better idea or has very strong reasons to think this is a bad idea.